I confess to having led a fairly sheltered life. Growing up, I never wanted for anything, my family went on vacation regularly (albeit only within Luzon). Both my elementary and high school years, I spent in high-end private schools, only to head to UP when I decided I wanted a different environment. My parents let me choose what I wanted to do with my life because I was never under any pressure to earn a living.
Growing up, even in two turbulent decades like the 70s and 80s, both of which saw sky-rocketing oil prices and foreign debt crises, I honestly never really felt the burn of bad governance, other perhaps than the fact that my father often turned the car off at every stoplight (in an attempt to save gas). It was only in the late eighties that I began to commute, and I never had any problem with fare from that point all the way through the 90s.
Now that I'm married with a son (and very, very soon, a daughter) I have responsibilities to balance and obligations to meet. Taking the bar exam was a very expensive experience even though my wife and I both had well-paying jobs at the time I quit. I wince at gas prices. I haggle with my landlord on deadlines for the rent. In short, I now live in the real world.
Because of this world I live in, I genuinely worry. My parents (more often my father, but you better believe my mother helped out a lot; we got discounts back in high school because she taught in the college) managed to keep all our heads above water, but times were not quite as hard, and we had the benefit of a house we didn't have to rent.
Now that I'm a parent, with obligations up the wazoo, will I be up to snuff? I don't exactly imagine my family moving into a squatter area, but how am I supposed to stand up to the rough times I know lie ahead? Should I take to the streets and ask for GMA to step down, even though I honestly have no idea who should be running the government or how it should be run? Should I sell my services to the highest bidder and try to grab the highest paid job, even if it could mean defending the interests of the scum of the earth, just so I can ensure my children's future? You'd think these questions have easy answers, and maybe they would have if you had asked me seven years ago, when I graduated from college.
It all seems so frightening now, what with my civil servant's salary and all. I am trimming down my lifestyle, I am trying to manage the household, but with the economy being what it is and oil prices being continually unpredictable I just wonder what I'm going to end up doing with my life to keep a few steps ahead of hardship. I hope whatever it is I do is something I won't have any trouble living with, because as unpalatable as the idea of never having enough money is, the idea of having more than enough at the expense of decency kind of frightens me.
3 comments:
Philip and I actually talked about entering government, and one thing we did agree on was that it might be easier for us if we made enough for a comfortable living in the private sector before going in to the public sector.
I suppose you have more than enough experiences of your own concerning corruption.
I also have some experiences with civil service members who did stay clean and excel, and I think are smart enough to have excelled in private companies if they chose to do so.
I don't trust myself well enough that I'd say that I'd never fall victim to the temptation either to really participate in corruption or to just look the other way.
Since you're already in goverment, you have my best wishes. Just remember that you can always just leave. There are many ways to serve.
Too true, [identity-protected] has always expressed interest in teaching at the state u. However, she wants to earn a little money before getting into that because-- after all-- there's no money ni gov't.
Ironically, why did you pick a job wherein the highest paying service involves defending the scum of the earth anyway?
well, fortunately enough, I'm working for a conscientious boss who has not saddled me with any troubling choices thus far.
The other day a lawyer I know kind of made a spiel for her firm, whether intentionally or not, and it was partly this that sparked the post, seeing as how the law firm is always the bigger money, though certainly not the easier money. It's at the law firm (although this varies from firm to firm, certainly) that I feel my professional growth lies, but unfortunately it is likewise there that the harder choices will have to be made. I guess I'm wondering how far I'm willing to go.
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